mean momma (sometimes) = good momma

Well, I had to "pull the rug out from under Reilly" the other day, as Kevin Leman (author of "Making Your Children Mind Without Losing Yours") would have put it. And to continue the name dropping, I would have made John Rosemond (author of "Parenting by the Book") very proud. We have been trying to teach Reilly about making good choices and are constantly saying "Good choices=Good consequences" and "Bad choices=Bad consequences". She was invited to her best buds birthday party last Monday and I was willing to pick her up early from school so she could go b/c all of our neighbors, her best friends that are all on opposite school days as she is so she hardly ever gets to play with them, would be there too. I went to the school to get her around 12:30 and her teacher met me at the door to let me know she had had one of the hardest days with Reilly of the entire school year. Oh boy, my blood pressure shot straight to the roof. She explained that Reilly was being defiant all day long and almost to the point of being disruptive to the rest of the class. I had heard enough. I grabbed Reilly by the hand and we walked straight to the car. As we got outside, she looked up at me all excited and said "yeah mommy, it's sunny out for Kate's birthday party! i can't wait to go!". Hmmmm....I responded and just said, "let's just get in the car Reilly". After we were all in, I turned around and told her that unfortunately she decided to make some really bad choices at school and since bad choices=bad consequences, she wasn't going to be going to Kate's party. Instead, I told her she was to go to her room until naptime (roughly 1.5 hours). She didn't really cause much fuss with this, but definitely was a bit upset. I tried to call a couple of the mom's that I knew were at the party to let them know we weren't coming and neither of them answered. and then, the most genious idea every popped into my head. I turned around again and said to Reilly, "you know buddy, we're going to go to Kate's party. And when we get there, you're going to get out of the car, carry the birthday present over to Kate, and very kindly say to her 'Kate, I'm sorry I can't stay at your party but I made some bad choices at school today and I have to go home'" And that's exactly what she did! We got to the party and Reilly saw all of her friends playing on the playground and having a grand ole time. I held her by the hand and lead her straight to Kate and she told her exactly what she was supposed to tell her and we turned around and walked right back to the car! The moms were all looking at me and giving me these "you go girl" type looks. After we got back in the car, she then began to get sad and cry b/c she wanted to stay and play at the party and it was at that point that she finally said, "but mommy, I don't WANT to make bad choices anymore!!!". Exactly what I wanted to hear. Maybe I did make a little bit of impact?? Hope so! Parenting is so hard sometimes!!!

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